working through issues

Conflict is a part of life, even among Christians. I remember Paul's words to Euodias and Syntyche. Most of the time everyone should be able to get along among us Christians. But there are times when there is either misunderstanding or wrong done in attitudes expressed in words. And both sides need to be aware that it's rarely if ever that one is entirely right and the other entirely wrong. And there needs to be no winner and loser. Both need to come clean with each other before the Lord at the foot of the cross.

I believe that if there is a problem between myself and another brother or sister, I need to go immediately or as soon as possible to them, to resolve it. When I do so I need to listen well to what they say and seek to be sensitive to where my attitudes and actions in word and deed may have contributed to the fallout. I also need to be in the attitude of not defending myself, but simply seeking to get to the truth and expressing it in love. Yet also be humble in knowing that we know in part, here; only God knows all.

We can't change others, nor can we change ourselves, though we are to cooperate in God's working in us through Christ. We must beware of the attitude that since I can't change someone I'll simply wash my hands clean of it, and try to avoid them. Instead we need to seek to be as Christ-like in love toward them as possible. Not condescending, either, but humbly accepting where we are wrong and are not as much like Jesus as we need to become.

Grace should reign among us as Christians. That means there has to be conflict resolution, and it should be done between the two parties who are in conflict with each other. If necessary it is good to bring in another party to help bring a resolution to the matter. We have to beware of harboring critical attitudes toward another. But that is where forgiveness comes into view. We've been forgiven in Jesus, and we need to extend the offer of forgiveness immediately to others- as well as our own repentance when needed, then we need to work through our attitudes so that we forgive each other from our hearts. The former needs to be done immediately, but the latter involves heart change and therefore a process we must be engaged in over time. Scot McKnight in his book, The Jesus Creed: Loving God, Loving Others, has an excellent chapter on forgiveness, "Forgiving in Jesus."

What might you like to add to this? What have you found true in your own life in this?

meltdowns

At times we can all fail. It's like we're cornered in our minds, with no way out; we feel trapped and think there is only one response. When that's not really the case at all!

When I say something I shouldn't, which normally happens with those one loves the most- sadly, then I not only want to get forgiveness immediately, or very soon. But I also want to learn from my sin and error. Sometimes that means I have to work through something, maybe with another, and maybe just with me and God.

Such times often bump us with the reminder of what we have been neglecting as of late. Quiet times in the word and in prayer before God. Seeking to draw near to God. Though we want to avoid meltdowns, they can work to our favor as we confess our sin to God, and to the offended party, and seek to start anew in our walk in Jesus in this world.

It's always good as well to be reminded of our weaknesses, so that in God through Christ and by the Spirit we can find his strength. And good for us to find our errors, so that we can find the truth as it is in Jesus.

What thoughts might you have on meltdowns?

conflict

Conflict can mean nothing more than reaching a point with someone in which there is an impasse which can't be resolved. It may be over a little matter soon to be forgotten, like some food, or sports discussion.

Of course conflict can and often does mean something bad is going on. James addresses it here, and when we feel anger arising in us from which we want to act, we need to be aware of what James in God's word is telling us. And then seek before God to get to the root of the problem in ourselves, instead of simply acting on it.

Just one little angle on conflict.

Anyone have words to share with us on this?

taking the rap

In seeking to follow Jesus and become like him, it is important to take others into consideration and be concerned for others' good, and not just our own. In any conflict we need to incorporate something of the African/American spiritual: "Standing in the Need of Prayer." But we also need to avoid the pitfall of condemnation, either from someone else or others, or from ourselves. That is not truth concerning us in Jesus.

I help others and arrive into true fellowship with them through Jesus, not directly but through him, and by prayer to God for them. And it's important to include ourselves when we're praying for someone with whom we may have an unresolved conflict or issue. In other words as I'm praying for them, I'm including myself in those prayers. "God, help so-and-so and I..."

Another important factor in this is to be open to taking the rap, and when I say that, all I mean is be willing to receive some hard words from Jesus, if he were present. I know Jesus is present by the Spirit, and I believe God can give us words today, even though I believe we have only Scripture as the written word of God, and all words are to be judged according to Scripture. But what if Jesus showed up in person, as he will at his return (second coming)? Many of us think he would take care of those opposed to us, but are not open to the truth that he would bring out into the open that which is not pleasing to God in our lives. He would make us all uncomfortable at first, or at least many of us- and I suspect this to be true of myself, before he would speak comforting words to us.

We often think negative thoughts of others. There can be truth in that, as well as sin. It ever needs to be tempered with love. And also with the realization that when we are in any conflict with someone, we are a part of that, and it's seldom if ever the case that we have no sin in such a matter, even if it's just our reaction to the wrong done to us.

I suspect there are some thoughts out there on this from your own lives and God's work in them. What might you like to share on this from that, or any thoughts?