Today is our 24th wedding anniversary. It really doesn't seem possible. God has been good to us throughout the years in spite of ourselves at times, and it's nice to celebrate our special day, and God's goodness to us today.
One of the biggest lessons we can learn in the school of marriage is that it's about us, not about me. Of course the us includes seeking to meet each other's needs, so that we both give and receive. And we do so out of love. Couples need to build on the love they have, rather than wish for some dreamy love they think they saw on a screen or elsewhere. And above all look to God for that love to them for each other.
But the "us" needs to not stop there of course. It's a love which goes to our children and grandchildren. And then to our brothers and sisters in Jesus. To our neighbors and coworkers. Even to our enemies, as Jesus teaches us. So that we're not talking about an exclusive us mentality, but an us for others, as well as for each other.
So Deb and I continue to learn on this. And it's good. God has been good to us, and we thank him for his goodness in our lives, and we look forward to all he has in store from day to day, as we seek to ever grow in this love from him for each other and for the world.
Any thoughts you'd like to add?
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Monday, October 12, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
idolatry
I've been thinking about idolatry and how that plays out in the lives even of Christians. John Calvin wrote about the propensity of all humans to hold on to idols in the heart (from Ezekiel).
This can be anything other than God. For example I wonder how easily the Republican Party (or Democratic Party) can become an idol. Or an ideology of what it ought to be. My country America, as great as it is, can surely become an idol, either rivaling or being too closely linked somehow in one's mind, to the kingdom of God.
How about one's ideal of what life ought to be? Now I tread softly and hopefully carefully here. Because we are dust and frail, and God knows that. And God says certain things are not good, for example it's not good for the man (or woman) to be alone. The answer there was the bond of marriage. But many who would like to be married, are not. And in the case of those who are married, they can so fawn over each other (fawing itself is good, by the way- one example) that they can end up making their marriage partner and marriage an idol. Remember, anything at all other than God, can become an idol.
The paradox is that as we learn to really put God first then the gifts of God can become more precious to us than ever. But when we put those gifts first, they eventually dry up, wither and die.
Much more to say on this. What would you like to add here?
This can be anything other than God. For example I wonder how easily the Republican Party (or Democratic Party) can become an idol. Or an ideology of what it ought to be. My country America, as great as it is, can surely become an idol, either rivaling or being too closely linked somehow in one's mind, to the kingdom of God.
How about one's ideal of what life ought to be? Now I tread softly and hopefully carefully here. Because we are dust and frail, and God knows that. And God says certain things are not good, for example it's not good for the man (or woman) to be alone. The answer there was the bond of marriage. But many who would like to be married, are not. And in the case of those who are married, they can so fawn over each other (fawing itself is good, by the way- one example) that they can end up making their marriage partner and marriage an idol. Remember, anything at all other than God, can become an idol.
The paradox is that as we learn to really put God first then the gifts of God can become more precious to us than ever. But when we put those gifts first, they eventually dry up, wither and die.
Much more to say on this. What would you like to add here?
Monday, October 27, 2008
Fireproof
Deb and I saw the film, Fireproof, and we'd highly recommend it to anyone.
It's not a perfect film. There was one scene I thought they could have done without, though it didn't detract from the story. For those wondering about objectionable material, there was none of that. Its rating is PG due to the nature and seriousness of the subject matter.
The story is true to life, involving a husband and wife whose marriage is in deep trouble. Faith and God's help through Jesus are key in it. That is expressed in a commitment to Christ which involves a change of heart and doing what is right and God's will, even when there is no breakthrough.
The film will likely hit home to every viewer in one way or another, directly or indirectly. I would like to see a study guide prepared, perhaps by the pastor and pastoral staff of the church which was involved in the shooting of the film. I think these kind of movies can do plenty of good, but so much more when there is followup and encouragement to live out the truth found in the story.
Not everyone cries easily, but if you do, be prepared to do so in this one. I went open in the sense of expecting good, but came away surprised at just how good it was. So, again I'd recommend this film. Especially good for spouses who are struggling in their marriage, but good for us all.
Have any of you seen this film and what did you think?
It's not a perfect film. There was one scene I thought they could have done without, though it didn't detract from the story. For those wondering about objectionable material, there was none of that. Its rating is PG due to the nature and seriousness of the subject matter.
The story is true to life, involving a husband and wife whose marriage is in deep trouble. Faith and God's help through Jesus are key in it. That is expressed in a commitment to Christ which involves a change of heart and doing what is right and God's will, even when there is no breakthrough.
The film will likely hit home to every viewer in one way or another, directly or indirectly. I would like to see a study guide prepared, perhaps by the pastor and pastoral staff of the church which was involved in the shooting of the film. I think these kind of movies can do plenty of good, but so much more when there is followup and encouragement to live out the truth found in the story.
Not everyone cries easily, but if you do, be prepared to do so in this one. I went open in the sense of expecting good, but came away surprised at just how good it was. So, again I'd recommend this film. Especially good for spouses who are struggling in their marriage, but good for us all.
Have any of you seen this film and what did you think?
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
"Old Stone Church - love" from L.L. Barkat
A wonderful day, for L.L. and her beloved. Her wedding day! It was a long time coming, as she more than tested her lover, and his love remained strong, steady and true, in spite of all the ups and downs their relationship went through. At last they were ready to leave the wintry past behind, and venture into the aura and beauty, as well as wildness of springtime (Song of Songs).
Again, L.L. is admirable in sharing her struggles. After all she went through in growing up, seeing both her mother and father divorce and remarry over and over, as well as all the rest, it's little wonder she was not able to bring herself to walk that aisle at Old Stone Church to meet her beloved until after nine years of dating, nearly half of them rocky years in their relationship.
L.L., in this most sacred chapter from her book, reflects on the impact the love from her beloved has had and continues to have in helping her open herself to the love of God in Jesus. She draws especially from Song of Songs, and from Iain Provan's commentary, which I've also found intriguing. Solomon's love is a winter love, the shepherdess is just one among many. But her true lover's love is aflame only for her. On L.L. and her beloved's wedding rings this Scripture reference is engraved.
In my life, love came hard, as I kept getting turned down one by one. I, like L.L., did have deep inward issues to work through, though different than hers. When Deb and I became serious and married, it was a good start. But waylayed by my own self-centeredness and lack of understanding towards her, and of God's will for me, and for us. But God's grace has and continues to see us through and we are now in a growing relationship of love, which reminds me of God's love for us. It doesn't come easy, or without hard and hidden places not being touched and transformed gradually by that never ending grace. That is the way God's love is, and something of how love is to be lived out among us, God's children, in our marriages and friendships.
L.L. gives us a view of love which draws us in, in wonder and awe of its beauty. Of course this love comes from the God who is love, and is our Lover. The imagery of God as Lover is what L.L. is most drawn to when she thinks of her relationship with God. And her beloved was at least in large part by God's grace, how she found her way there.
In the end, as L.L. reminds us, it is Jesus who looks forward (perhaps evident here) to a wedding that is yet to come, with us in him, at the wedding supper of the Lamb. In the meantime, we seek to live faithfully and holy to him, in our relationships in this world, as we look forward to that day. A day in which in that love, we will truly "be brought to our knees before Jesus." (page 80)
Great "discussion questions" at the back of the book, particularly poignant and penetrating on this chapter (pages 158-159).
1. Stepping Stones - conversion
2. Christmas Coal - shame
3. Tossed Treasures - messiness
4. Heron Road - suffering
5. Sword in the Stone - resistance
6. Howe's Cave - baptism
7. Palisade Cliffs - doubt
8. Holding Pfaltzgraff - inclusion
9. Indiana Jones - fear
Next week: Goldsworthy's Wall - sacrifice
Again, L.L. is admirable in sharing her struggles. After all she went through in growing up, seeing both her mother and father divorce and remarry over and over, as well as all the rest, it's little wonder she was not able to bring herself to walk that aisle at Old Stone Church to meet her beloved until after nine years of dating, nearly half of them rocky years in their relationship.
L.L., in this most sacred chapter from her book, reflects on the impact the love from her beloved has had and continues to have in helping her open herself to the love of God in Jesus. She draws especially from Song of Songs, and from Iain Provan's commentary, which I've also found intriguing. Solomon's love is a winter love, the shepherdess is just one among many. But her true lover's love is aflame only for her. On L.L. and her beloved's wedding rings this Scripture reference is engraved.
In my life, love came hard, as I kept getting turned down one by one. I, like L.L., did have deep inward issues to work through, though different than hers. When Deb and I became serious and married, it was a good start. But waylayed by my own self-centeredness and lack of understanding towards her, and of God's will for me, and for us. But God's grace has and continues to see us through and we are now in a growing relationship of love, which reminds me of God's love for us. It doesn't come easy, or without hard and hidden places not being touched and transformed gradually by that never ending grace. That is the way God's love is, and something of how love is to be lived out among us, God's children, in our marriages and friendships.
L.L. gives us a view of love which draws us in, in wonder and awe of its beauty. Of course this love comes from the God who is love, and is our Lover. The imagery of God as Lover is what L.L. is most drawn to when she thinks of her relationship with God. And her beloved was at least in large part by God's grace, how she found her way there.
In the end, as L.L. reminds us, it is Jesus who looks forward (perhaps evident here) to a wedding that is yet to come, with us in him, at the wedding supper of the Lamb. In the meantime, we seek to live faithfully and holy to him, in our relationships in this world, as we look forward to that day. A day in which in that love, we will truly "be brought to our knees before Jesus." (page 80)
Great "discussion questions" at the back of the book, particularly poignant and penetrating on this chapter (pages 158-159).
1. Stepping Stones - conversion
2. Christmas Coal - shame
3. Tossed Treasures - messiness
4. Heron Road - suffering
5. Sword in the Stone - resistance
6. Howe's Cave - baptism
7. Palisade Cliffs - doubt
8. Holding Pfaltzgraff - inclusion
9. Indiana Jones - fear
Next week: Goldsworthy's Wall - sacrifice
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