is wrestling with God bad?

On Halfmom's blog, Not Ashamed!, there is an excellent post and interesting discussion about wrestling with God. We agree that Jacob's wrestling was an expression of lack of faith on his part, but I think it was also an expression of faith. For if Jacob would have had no faith, he wouldn't have bothered to wrestle with God, but would have taken matters into his own hands.

Not all wrestling in Scripture is bad. We need to want God's blessing so badly that we refuse to rest until we enter into God's rest. I believe God is pleased with any expression of faith. Though God is not satisfied unless we're growing in our faith. Jacob wrestled with God because his situation looked dire. It looked to him as if God's promise might fail. Certainly a lack of faith there. Contrast an older Abraham (than the younger one, who also failed on this score) who when God commanded him to sacrifice his only son, Isaac- in whom God's promises lived- obeyed.

I wish I didn't wrestle over certain matters. But I'm not there yet, to a faith which is at rest no matter what. But I want to press into that. To make every effort to enter into God's rest in Jesus and through his promises.

What do you think? Is wrestling with God bad? Or what might be good or bad about it? And I wonder what Jewish tradition on the passage of Jacob wrestling with God, might teach us.

Tomorrow, chapter 2: "Why a Jewish Rabbi?" from Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus: How the Jewishness of Jesus Can Transform Your Faith, by Ann Spangler and Lois Tverberg.

like the flu

Like the flu can be that issue that puts us on our bottoms so to speak, down but not out, in our walk in God. I encountered that again yesterday evening in a rare bout of anxiety. That's not why I've posted late. I actually am trying to do better in getting enough sleep, and am determined to do so. But back to the point. I know God is good. I know God is God. And therefore I know I should not worry. In fact, as a friend has pointed out to me in the past, it is a sin. And a sin is to be repented of.

I used to worry on a regular basis. A chronic worrier. It seems at least in comparison to that that I'm hardly a worrier at all anymore. So when this newest episode hit me, it probably hit me in more ways than one. "Here we go again! Same old, same old, and I hate it." I have to say I'm now over it by grace and by grace alone. Like the flu is what I call "anxiety" or the anxious feelings, or fear, which follow worry. And after sincere repentance of our lack of faith in God it takes some time for that emotion of fear to dissipate and be gone, as my friend pointed out. Maybe I have just some of the aftereffects of anxiety left, but in answer to prayer and by faith, I believe the Lord has taken care of it. Though I'm not sure how much faith I exercised in this; maybe more than I think as I'm used to such attacks coming and going fairly soon; this one held on longer.

This ended up being a case of others praying for me I think, or at least my wife doing so, although in the past I bombarded her with so many requests for such prayer, that it had become kind of an ongoing request. I'm sure she did, though. It's also an opportunity to grow so that I will be less likely to worry next time that temptation arises, and if I do to get over it sooner with the proper repentance needed. I hardly know how that growth occurs; it's more like an assimilation of truth as revealed by God from Scripture and in Jesus. It more and more seeps into our hearts and lives, becoming more and more a part of who we are.

Any of you out there with anything to say on this?

Advent and unbelief

Within the narrative we read in Scripture concerning Jesus' birth and its aftermath, and the circumstances surrounding that, we can see numerous instances where people by and large probably lost out in the blessing they could have received by simple faith. Within this group we could include the friends and relatives of Joseph and Mary in the community of Nazareth. Sure, it was highly unusual, what God was doing, as well as his word at that time. But evidently, the people were not open enough to be able to hear and receive by faith the word of God that had been communicated both to Mary and Joseph. And maybe it was not in God's will at the time to make this known openly, either. Just as Jesus was careful about revealing who he was, knowing the people were not ready for it, and would simply want to use it for their own reasons.

Then there are the likes of Herod, as well as the Herodians- and others, whose personal kingdoms could be threatened by what they had learned from the Magi travelling to see the one who had been born, "king of the Jews". Unbelief is not only limiting God, but it is refusing God to be God, not wanting his will to be done if it conflicts with one's own will and agenda.

Are we open to God's word in our lives, no matter what circumstances and difficulties we may be facing? Are we open like Mary to God's ways, which may not be anything we know at the time? And are we choosing God's will over our own, whatever that means? Not just saying that, but living that out as well, according to God's revelation given to us in Scripture.

I am so easily caught up in anxiety, though such attacks seem rare anymore. But just very recently I've been hit again. I want to respond to this in a way in which I can grow, as whatever might be holding me back from faith is exposed so it can be repented of. As well as wanting to trust God no matter what, and believe in God's goodness in it all. I want to be taken up with Jesus and his coming into the world, and living in that.

Let us be among those who could gather around the manger in true worship, adoration and contemplation, along with pondering all this in our hearts- not missing the meaning and wonder of Advent because of unbelief.