At the beginning of Rich Mullin's album, A Liturgy, a Legacy & a Ragamuffin Band (1993), prior to the first song, "Here in America", the band is getting ready to start. One clears their throat and says, "...I'm barely ready to do this, but let's keep doing it, so don't get mad at me." I believe Rich's voice intercepts that with "Alright. Amen," amidst a laugh. Another says something like, "That's the way we all feel."
I think there is some proverbial-like kind of wisdom in this. Yesterday I received news of a personal nature (not health, nor my own employment; the first two places your thoughts may go). After dealing with it, expressing my thoughts, but then coming to accept it, I experienced a peace, an unusual sense of peace in my heart and mind, uninterrupted for that time. Certainly of God's amazing grace. But later when I found something the way I don't like it, that struck a kind of irrational fear in my heart (ha, I won't go into details here; probably under the category more than less of personal idiosyncrasies), that experiential peace was gone. It was so striking before. Helping me through a kind of mini-crisis in my mind. But now just as striking in the opposite direction. Fear used to be a factor in my experiential life, in "my heart", holding me back. Now it seldom appears to that degree, though it does once in awhile. Here it was (and is- haha) in full force again!
So I try to do the spiritual disciplines, as I do them. And I do believe strongly in regularity in doing that. And I add extra prayer. And seek to put into practice some of the helpful things the Lord is teaching me recently. But to no avail. I still have that fear in my heart, that makes me feel like a muddler.
What comes to mind as I think about a couple of possibilites for a post this morning? This. This reminder. In spite of felt and known inadequacy, "Let's keep doing it." Yes. Just keep doing it. When you don't feel like doing whatever you believe God has called you to do, or what he has put in front of you to do, or what your hand has found to do (Ecclesiastes), go ahead and do it anyhow. With all your heart, even if you feel weak.
The kind of service God blesses is oftentimes done with a true sense of weakness. Paul is a great example of that. And he points to our Lord as the supreme example of that. So let's press on. In the love of God. In the faithfulness of God. In the communion of the saints, God's people. Let's keep doing it!
Any thoughts or testimonies here?